VANITY UNFAIR

Boy (Levi Johnston) meets girl (Bristol Palin). Boy has sex with girl. Girl gets pregnant. Shortly therefter, when Bristol's mother, Sarah Palin, the Governor of Alaska, is tapped as the Republican Vice-Presidential candidate, the family becomes the talk of the nation, including Levi's and Bristol's unborn baby conceived out of wedlock, as they say. But you ain't heard nothing yet. Boy loves spotlight more than girl and baby. Sure I'd pose for Playgirl he says in his tabloid tell-all about his former flame and her famous family.

Oh, yes, he split from the girl--so all is fair in exploiting the mother of his child. He decides "not everyone gets a chance to be a celebirity." Levi thought "making a movie might be too hard," especially since he was trained as an electrician, not an actor. But it was cool having people ask for your autograph in airports.

So, just tell big, glossy magazines everything you can think of about your child's family, that's all. Oh, it might hurt your child too? Seems Levi never thought of that, or if he did, it sure didn't stop him from making money by dishing dirt and crumbs.

Levi Johnston, Sara Palin's daughter's ex peddles to the press in this month's issue of Vanity Fair what it was like living in the Palin home. Levi struck gold by getting a well-known woman's daughter pregnant, and he is going to mine it. My reaction as a reader has nothing to do with being pro or con Palin. I just happen to think you should be able to speak and live in your own home without someone making money off of your true or taken out of context words and observations. Call me old-fashioned--but what happened to the adage: your home is your castle?

Some will nail Palin to the cross for remarks Levi reports. Other comments feel like padding. Here are some headlines: Read all about it--Sarah and her husband Todd sleep in separate bedrooms--and Levi knows--get this, Todd doesn't even snore. WOO HOO-- ALERT THE MEDIA! In fact, young Levi can't even understand how Sarah and Todd got pregnant. Maybe that is why Levi got Bristol pregnant, just didn't know the facts of life. BRISTOL DID THE COOKING, NOT SARAH. OH, GET THE PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY IN TO PUNCH SARAH OUT ON THAT ONE. One thing Levi's ragging proves is if there was really scandal in the Governor's Mansion, Levi would have hunted it down with the biggest thing he can shoot besides his mouth. Was there anything nice at all or one redeeming tiny trait about Sarah Palin? Get real, Levi is talking Let's Make a Deal--not Truth and Fair.

I've been rich and I've been poor--and yes the first is much better. It gives you options in life--you don't have to be a dirtbag to make money unless you are just plain mean. One of the shocking facts about becoming wealthy though is finding out that even nice people will lie, misconstrue and do and say anything to get a piece of your rock. No wonder Oprah and every smart star makes employees sign confidentiality agreements. I'd include in that list any guy who dates my daughter. How low can one go? Mighty low if the stakes are high.

Levi would drop trou in a flash for cash. Instead of showing pictures of his baby, he seems more eager to just display the part of his anatomy that helped produce his son--thus his willingness to bare all for Playgirl. So reduntant. The ass has already been revealed.