AMERICAN IDOL IS BACK: BUT WILL IT PLAY IN PEORIA WITHOUT PAULA

AMERICAN IDOL was on the air again. The theme song called us to the flat-screen like a Burger King beckons to a teen. What was it going to be like without Paula gushing and even being kind to those contestants who deserve sympathy with their do-not pass-on to Hollywood cards. I wondered if pro-Paulaites were screened out of the audience, as I popped some Orville Redenbacher into my mouth. Let's face it, I thought, as we guzzled our Cokes, I loved having the show -of- all -the -reality shows back.


The female judge, who's name hasn't sunk in yet, tried to be peppier. The visiting stars were just that--celebs to glam up the set, a few with 'tude. Simon flexed his pecs and let the take-no-prisoners sniping roll off his tongue (a viper never changes his bite); Randy was the dude ya gotta love, dawg. Ryan, always a super cool host, seemed mildly sedated. But did I pine for Paula's loopy peppiness? I'd love to say I wanted to shut the show off, shove Fox's anti-female stance (for having a double pay standard) in their face. But I'd miss AI, just what I needed to chase the January blues. The TV formula still worked--watching kids reach for their dream (even when their voices were more like a nightmare).

I had the feeling Paula (who wore her hurt on her head with a blonde wig and imitated Ellen the charming, lovable interloper months ago) missed the show, more than AI viewers let her absence interfere with their fix. Ah, but contestants may be singing a different tune.

Adam Lambert, a fab contestant who got the boot from the audience last season--probably because he was too over-the-top gay-- was on Oprah and weighed in on Paula and Simon's parting, due next season reportedly. The rocker spoke volumes when he said Simon's honesty was a shot in the arm, but so was Paula's pat-on-the-back nurturing. However, Fox--too busy counting the loot and ratings--won't get the picture. So, take heart, AI addicts, the pitchy melodies will linger on...